I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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