My nipple is on Facebook.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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