You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
