okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
