You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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