Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
