she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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