On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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