Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
