so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
