come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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