How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
