watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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