Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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