I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
