I can text with my tongue
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
