my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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