Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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