I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
