so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
