U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
