Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
