I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
