I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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