summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
