I CAN MOONWALK!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
