Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
