Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
