tell your sister to shave her snatch
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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