My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They took my balls.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
