Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
