Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
