he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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