we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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