i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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