Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I forget how to act sober
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
