I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
