I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
