Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
