Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
