How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
