am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
