Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
