just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
