Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
