Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i believe in u and ur pee
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
