he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
