It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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