I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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