we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
