Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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