Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
